Peyton R. Helm: Don't be an idiot and other tips for college graduates
This commentary was adapted from the baccalaureate address he gave to the college's graduating class.Tuesday, May 19, 2015 08:16 AM
Peyton R. Helm
President, Muhlenberg College
Published by The Morning Call
May 19, 2015
Fellow graduates of the Class of 2015, we are all poised to take the next big step. For you, that next step will almost certainly mean more challenges, more hard work. Maybe a job, maybe more school, definitely more independence and responsibilities. Probably much smaller subsidies from your parents. For me, well, fewer meetings, fewer suits, fewer bow ties, and fewer emails.
There's something else we probably have in common when it comes to that next big step. We are all scared silly that things might not work out the way we hope. We are perched on the edge here. We are ready to spread our wings. We are hoping we don't go splat.
This is my 12th and last baccalaureate address at Muhlenberg College. I have been saving my best advice for you. So here goes. To alleviate some of that "I may be about to go splat" anxiety, here is my advice for a happy life:
When things look really bad, get a good night's sleep. It can't hurt, and whatever the problem is, it may solve itself overnight. If it doesn't, you'll be better prepared to deal with it in the morning.
When you can't sleep in the middle of the night because you're worrying about some gigantic problem, write it down and go back to sleep. It will shrink to manageable size when the sun comes up.
Cheer up. If you act happy long enough, you will probably end up feeling happy. Note: This isn't intended for those with serious clinical depression. It can't hurt, but it is not a substitution for prescription meds.
Take advantage of the mirror effect. Simply put, this means that most people will respond to you based on how you present yourself. If you act enthusiastically, you will be met with enthusiasm. If you act confidently, people will have confidence in you. If you act like a jerk, well, you get the idea.
Say "thank you" often, and sincerely. Everybody likes to be thanked. It costs you nothing and makes you feel good too.
Don't be an idiot. This covers a range of all-too-common behaviors like carrying credit card debt, forgetting to floss, taking the people you love for granted, shooting off your mouth when you've had one too many beers (this includes drunk dialing, texting and Facebook posting), or ordering spaghetti when you're at a business dinner.
Splurge sometimes. My dad, one of the most frugal people I ever met, liked to quote his mom, who once said: "I have often regretted my economies, but never my extravagances." So buy those Jimmy Choos — but only every once in a while.
Listen. If you want to be known as a great conversationalist, be a great listener. You will learn more, make more friends and embarrass yourself less often.
Be reliable. Show up when and where you said you'd show up, prepared to do whatever it is you're supposed to do. Have your work done when it's supposed to be done. Don't make promises you can't or aren't willing to keep. Be the person other people can count on. There are all too few of them in the world.
If a job isn't fun, you're in the wrong job. That doesn't mean every day will be fun; but if every day is miserable, and the work means nothing to you, find another job. There is nobility in work — all kinds of work — but you have to believe in it.
That's 10 pieces of my best advice.
But what have I learned from you? From Muhlenberg students?
The most important lesson is that character and courage can prevail over incredible challenges. I'm thinking of several young alumni who once sat where you now sit during my time here. They came back from near fatal auto accidents or cancer to lead happy, productive lives. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't fast — and it wasn't the life they had planned. But they prevailed. Many of your classmates have overcome both visible and invisible challenges to complete their undergraduate education. They too have a right to be proud of the obstacles they have overcome.
Their examples will serve me well as I set out down the unexplored road of retirement. I have never been not busy. How will I motivate myself to find new areas in which I can make a contribution? I will think about these young men and women and I will draw strength from their stories. Congratulations, good luck, and farewell.
Peyton R. Helm, president of Muhlenberg College since July 2003, will retire next month. This was adapted from the baccalaureate address he gave to the college's graduating class Saturday night.
Copyright © 2015, The Morning Call
